The Idol of Me
Late last year my daughter had some friends over for her 12th birthday party. I was quite taken aback by her friends’ use of mobile phones — three of the five girls walked around our house, with a phone in front of their face. My wife and I were astounded. We chatted about this with the girls over pizza at dinner. I was surprised to find out that these girls were given unlimited data and access to the usual suspects: SnapChat, TicToc, YouTube, Insta, and some other App called ‘BeReal’.
Technology can be great - it can connect us with family and with friends around the world. It allows us to be incredibly efficient and resourceful. It can help us in emergencies.
But there’s another side to the story.
MIT Professor and clinical psychologist Sherry Turkle writes about this in her book Reclaiming Conversation. Mediating interactions and “edit[ing] ourselves” (p, 107) through Apps creates a false image of self. Empathy declines stemming from our preference to shape ourselves through screens.
In his classic, McDonaldization of Society: Into the Digital Age, George Ritzer also warns against the “increased control [that] often comes from the substitution of nonhuman for human technology” (p, 165).
The carefully controlled, crafted and curated image can become the virtual-me - an idol of me. No doubt this contributes to the wellbeing and anxiety we see in young people today.
There is insight and wisdom in the ancient prophetic literature that warns against curating an image in our own likeness:
Our eyes are closed, and we cannot see.
Our minds are shut, and we cannot think.
The person who made the idol never stops to reflect,
They trust something that can’t help them at all.
Yet cannot bring themself to ask,
“Is this idol that I’m holding in my hand a lie?”
Isaiah 44:20
Balancing out App and screen time with community connection and conversation can help to shape a positive and realistic image of self. We can do this by setting some screen-time limits, through family-sharing. There are also some good parent-control Apps (like Bark) that can help.